The Wife of Noble Character

*To My Future Wife*

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.

Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.

She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.

She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.

She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls.

She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.

She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.

In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.

She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.

When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.

She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.

She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.

She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.

Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:

"Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

- Proverbs 31:10-31 (NIV)

"A wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones." - Proverbs 12:4 (NIV)

A wife of noble character who can find? The Bible tells us that 'he who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favour from the LORD' (Proverbs 18:22, NIV). However, finding a wife of noble character is not so much about searching for "the one", as it is about trusting God to work things out.

Commenting on Proverbs 18:22, Bill Thrasher in Believing God for His Best writes that 'the Hebrew word for "find" does not denote a diligent search but rather finding something along one's normal and natural path of life'. Indeed, 'houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD' (Proverbs 19:14, NIV).

The Way of a Man with a Maiden

"There are three things that are too amazing for me, four that I do not understand: the way of an eagle in the sky, the way of a snake on a rock, the way of a ship on the high seas, and the way of a man with a maiden." - Proverbs 30:18-19 (NIV)

Interestingly, the author groups 'the way of a man with a maiden' together with 'the way of an eagle in the sky', 'the way of a snake on a rock' and 'the way of a ship on the high seas'. What do they have in common?

In the air, an eagle has no right to defy gravity and avoid falling. But by God's grace, it does! On the land, a snake (having no legs) has no right to make its way on a rock. But by God's grace, it does! On the sea, a ship has no right to defy gravity and avoid sinking. But by God's grace, it does!

Above all, a man has no right to win the heart of a maiden. But by God's grace, he does! In the first place, it is God who says, 'it is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him' (Genesis 2:18, NIV).

- The King and the Maiden (14 Dec 09)

To Form a More Perfect Union

Christian marriage is about spiritual growth - becoming more like Christ.

God will not bring you together with someone just to answer your prayers or meet your needs. He brings people together in marriage to edify one another, to give them opportunity to lay down their lives for one another, to build a union designed primarily to bring glory to God.

Anything that falls short of union falls short of God's plan.

- Andrew Farmer, The Rich Single Life

Believing God for His Best

1. All of us need a preparation time of singleness before marriage.

2. Certain times may be harder than others in trusting God with your singleness. These times can be ones of intense temptation.

3. On the other side of a temptation often is a special opportunity and provision of God.

4. You do not need to try to be somebody you are not in order to win the heart of the other person you admire.

5. God will draw two people together in His sovereignty if He wills them to be married.

6. Do not let another be an idol in your life. An "idol" is someone or something that you look to in order to fulfill the thirsts of your heart to feel important and secure.

7. What is of God might go through various "deaths of a vision" before it is fulfilled.

8. We need the support, counsel, and prayers of others in this area of our lives no matter how much we might be seeking God.

9. Seek to honour both sets of parents.

10. Making the most of one's singleness is the best preparation for marriage.

11. Live today in a way that will do your future mate good.

12. Thoughtfully present your sexual energies and drives to God, and vow to keep yourselves pure for one man or one woman.

- Bill Thrasher, Believing God for His Best

"He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." - Micah 6:8 (NIV)

First and Second Things

Put first things first and we get second things thrown in: put second things first and we lose both first and second things.

To sacrifice the greater good for the less and then not to get the lesser good after all - that is the surprising folly.

The woman who makes a dog the centre of her life loses, in the end, not only her human usefulness and dignity but even the proper pleasure of dog-keeping. The man who makes alcohol his chief good loses not only his job but his palate and all power of enjoying the earlier (and only pleasurable) levels of intoxication.

It is a glorious thing to feel for a moment or two that the whole meaning of the universe is summed up in one woman - glorious so long as other duties and pleasures keep tearing you away from her. But clear the decks and so arrange your life (it is sometimes feasible) that you will have nothing to do but contemplate her, and what happens?

Every preference of a small good to a great, or a partial good to a total good, involves the loss of the small or partial good for which the sacrifice was made.

You can't get second things by putting them first; you can get second things only by putting first things first. From which it would follow that the question, "What things are first?" is of concern not only to philosophers but to everyone.

- C. S. Lewis, First and Second Things

To love you as I should, I must worship God as Creator.

When I have learnt to love God better than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now. In so far as I learn to love my earthly dearest at the expense of God and instead of God, I shall be moving towards the state in which I shall not love my earthly dearest at all. When first things are put first, second things are not suppressed but increased.

- C. S. Lewis, Letters of C. S. Lewis

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." - Matthew 6:33 (NIV)

By Obedience, We Enter into God's Rest

By obeying God, we enter into a rest that results from being utterly dependent on Him, relying on His activity and agenda rather than our own.

And perhaps it is time for us to recognise obedience as the quintessential expression of our faith - we obey, not because we hope to gain from it, but because it is the proper response of a heart that trusts in God. Instead, the world has programmed us for expedience. We desire to have what we want, when we want it. But we must supplant the desire for expedience with the desire for true obedience.

All other relationships grow out of this: that we love first and most fervently the One who has saved us and set us free. It begins with a choice - a choice to serve Him rather than to serve ourselves; a choice to do what is obedient, even if by doing so we forfeit what we desire; a choice to pursue righteousness, even when it is costly.

Are we willing to make that choice?

- William P. Risk, Dating & Waiting

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God - this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will." - Romans 12:1-2 (NIV)

Links: The Proverbs 31 Woman (14 Feb 09), A wife of noble character who can find? (5 May 10), The Man of Noble Character (6 Sep 10), The Psalm 112 Man (9 Sep 10)